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Why Do Brides Turn Into Bridezillas When Planning Their Wedding?

21-10-2021

Written by Naila Afsheen. 

Naila is a freelance writer and blogger in weddings, marriage advice, food blog, fashion and more..

A wedding is the most special and unforgettable experience in someone’s life. You get to celebrate your love in a grand way, followed by starting a new life together with your partner - the love of your life. What could be more beautiful than that?

However, things are not always as bright and sunny as they may seem. The psychological toll of starting a brand-new life causes a bride-to-be angst. The innate desire of a woman to make her wedding festivities bigger than ever and nothing short of a mega-event can make things super stressful for the bride and the people around her.

If you’re shouting at your maid of honor for not being active enough, if you’re having unnecessary arguments with the groom about curtains in your new home or you’re constantly rejecting the suggestions of your wedding planner when it comes to flowers, napkins, or the stage setting, it’s time to take a deep breath and calm down because you’ve turned into a bridezilla. There are hundreds of reasons that lead to a bride losing control of the situation and herself during the most happening time of her life. Let’s see the world from the bride’s perspective and figure out the elements that contribute to her stress;

 

 

Unreal expectations of everyone

 

No matter which part of the world or culture you belong to, weddings call for some compromises and forgiveness, and usually, the bride is expected to meet some unreal expectations regarding this. They are often talked into quitting their job or moving to a new place to have their aims and ambitions aligned with their husbands’.

Not only does a bride feel anxious about things she will have to manage in her married life such as moving in with hubby, sharing a house, and responsibilities. But above all this, a bride has to keep up with the in-laws and their mood swings as well.

That’s not all she has to bear with. A bride is expected to look nothing short of perfection on all of the wedding festivities. Her dress, hair, makeup, and jewelry should be on point, and losing or gaining a few kgs is an essential part of this wedding facade.

 

 

Constant need for perfection

 

The reality has to match with the perfect image of the wedding that you’ve created in your head as a bride. The vows need to sound creative yet effortlessly romantic. Your eyeshadow has to look on-spot for the entire wedding party and the music should sit perfectly well with the overall wedding theme and location. All these tabs open in a bride’s head can lead to serious destruction when it comes to maintaining calm.

Picking the exclusive venue has its own charms but now you’re worried that what if the guests can’t find it or get lost because of one wrong turn? What if the groom can’t find his vest or your bridesmaid forgets your veil at home? The key is to make peace with the fact that no wedding can be one hundred percent perfect. As long as it’s a wonderful day filled with memories to cherish for a lifetime, you’ll be fine.

 

 

Too much is at stake

 

A lot of money, time, and effort goes into planning a wedding. People often spend all of their savings to make this day an unforgettable and a lifetime experience for everyone involved. Hence the anxiety and stress that something might go wrong and mess everything up are bound to follow.

The close relatives and friends coming in from the town take their week off from work and personal engagements. And the couple is dedicated to making the wedding worth their while. If something, god forbid, goes wrong when it comes to matters as big as hosting the guests, catering, or the wedding band, and as small as the seating arrangement, the complaints go all the way to the highest authority of the event i.e. the bride and her day is ruined. Now imagine having to cope up with all this stress and not turning into a bridezilla.

 

 

Disagreement between the couple

 

A little trouble in paradise is normal when it comes to a matter of agreement or disagreement. When the wedding is around the corner, it’s not just the bride who feels under pressure, the groom gets equally exhausted apart from being thrilled and excited. Making this day the biggest hit of your entire life is no piece of cake and it’s highly likely that the two of you won’t agree on a few things.

Women start to plan their weddings way before men. Things such as the affordable wedding rings or the color of flowers for the venue are already decided by her. But suddenly, the groom comes up with a different suggestion. Sometimes he wants chicken on the menu and the bride is insisting on duck. Groom wants the simple His and Her Wedding Bands, however, the bride wants to go a little fancy with an adorable engraving. Apart from the rings, there are other matters such as the curtains for their new home, furniture, kitchen stuff, and even the color combination of their walls and carpet can be super stressful and bring out the bride’s inner Zilla. 

 

The wedding bands don’t fit

 

One of the biggest red lights is when you ordered custom wedding bands but the sizes are all messed up and now it’s too late for alterations. No matter how grand or intimate your wedding ceremony is, the rings stay with you for the rest of your life as a symbol of love, dedication, and commitment. Hence, there needs to be a guarantee that they’ll fit perfectly, will have the best quality, and never lose their shape and shine.

You can’t control the weather on your wedding day or be 100% sure that the food will be finger-licking good but there’s one thing you can be sure of - that the matching wedding bands for the bride and groom will catch everyone’s attention on the ceremony and afterward.   

 

 

A bridesmaid backed out

 

Bridesmaids are the ultimate showrunners who watch over the wedding arrangements while keeping the bride from losing her calm. But what if she gets stuck at work or falls sick and can’t make it to the wedding? It’s actually a 911 kind of an emergency.

A bride is super dependent on her bridesmaid for almost every step of the way on her wedding festivities, starting from the bridal shower to the rehearsal dinner and the big ceremony as well. She’s the force holding everything together, controlling the bride’s mood swings, and making sure that she doesn’t lose her mind. Above all, finding a trustworthy bridesmaid at the last moment is nearly impossible.

 

 

Managing the budget

 

Did someone say Budget? Well, managing money matters can be as hard as finding your soulmate. Handing it to one of the bridesmaids can be a great idea. However, being able to execute your dream wedding while staying on budget can be a real task. What if your favorite photographer is too expensive or the wedding band is too hard to afford? And what about the wedding dress? Every girl wants the best white gown that casts a spell on every guest who witnesses her walking down the aisle, especially the groom. 

Not wanting to compromise on the quality of flowers for the decor or the food item on the menu can cost you some extra bucks. And don’t forget to save up for the honeymoon as well. All these concerns add up to the bride’s anxiety and distress.

 

Weather is testing your patience

 

You have planned an outdoor wedding but the weather forecast says that it’s going to be raining all week. What a disaster, right?There’s so much love and hard work that go into each and every tiny little detail of the wedding. A bride is emotionally attached to this matter and she puts all her energy into it but something as uncertain as the weather can shatter her dreams of a perfect wedding into a million pieces. The theme has been selected accordingly, the dress and make-up have been finalized, the outdoor photoshoot locations have been picked. But now everything has to be planned all over again. If this isn’t something causing a mini heart attack for the bride, then what is?

 

 

Putting up with the Relatives

 

Some of the relatives can be a little too insufferable and might actually try to steal your thunder. They need a constant reminder that a wedding is about the bride and groom. Nonetheless, the couple has to endure their tantrums, unreasonable demands, and unhelpful attitude during the wedding. Some would ask for an early reception dinner to feed their kids and others may need a special table closer to the stage to add to the bride’s misery and stress.

 

How To Avoid Turning Into a Bridezilla

 

On a concluding note, no matter how uncertain things might be, torturing yourself and everyone else involved in the wedding is not the ideal way to begin a new life. So if you see yourself turning into a bridezilla, there's still time to turn the ship around by reminding yourself that what matters the most at the end of the day is your own happiness. Try planning everything way ahead of time, and get a wedding planner onboard if necessary. Always have a Plan B when it comes to a wedding band, maid of honor and the photographer. Most importantly, Breathe!

Also, remember that the purpose of your wedding day is not to please the guests, but to marry the love of your life. Being with the man of your dreams is a thought enough to make things a million times better.

 

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