Finding the woman of your dream is challenging and finding that right one to ask that most important question, “Will you be my wife?” or “Will you marry me?” can be a daunting task. After finding the right woman whom you decide to make the woman of your life, you’ll then be faced with another big question. Who will be your best man?
Who is the Best Man?
In most wedding ceremonies and receptions, the best man is typically portrayed to be the celebrity of the crew. Famous for his hilarious and sometimes embarrassing speeches, he’s regarded as someone who can throw many spices into a bachelor party. The best man also plays a significant role in a wedding ceremony and preparations.
Some of his duties during the big day would be to ensure the vibe is right, the newlyweds are looked after, schedules are followed, and offer help with any speedbumps during the day. From holding onto the rings to picking the tuxes and determining the kind of beer that most suits the reception, the duties of the best man cannot be overlooked.
So, here comes the single question. Among all your friends, families, buddies, and acquaintances, who deserves the position of your best man? If you are out of ideas concerning who you should ask, or you are simply torn between two different guys, here are the factors to consider before deciding on who should be your best man:
Family is Typically Chosen Over Friends for the Best Man
If you have been blessed with a male sibling, your search for the best man might seem simple and straightforward. Whether young or old, a brother possesses all the traits of becoming a perfect best man. This is due to a few reasons. Your brother knows you well both inside and out. He’s likely to have a good relationship with your fiancé and will be fully aware of the kind of bachelor party he should help throw for you when the time comes.
Sometimes having two brothers might even cause some tension cause for a tough decision. There’s no rule to say you can’t have two best men if they both mean the world to you. Talk to someone close to get some advice and help to decide on how to move forward.
Which Friend Have You Known the Longest?
When it comes to choosing your best man, there is a high probability that you’ll find yourself reflecting on your friendships. Of course, you come across people who turn out to become your friends throughout your entire life. Whether in the college, at happy hour, or work, you never know where you may first meet your best man who makes significant impacts in your life.
However, there is usually a reward for a friendship that has lasted the test of time. Do you have friends whom you’ve been nurturing your friendship ties from childhood? Do you have friends whom you’ve known for a long time?
Choosing a longtime friend is always considered an appropriate choice for a best man. Your best man should be that one friend that possesses the best-rounded character out of all your friends. This person is preferably someone that has been with you through different stages of your life. You want someone who’s been through all kinds of situations and who you can trust with any scenario and stand next to you as your best man. It becomes quite simple to choose this person once you’ve understood the possible requirements.
Which Friend Lives Closest to You?
One other way to choose a best man is to choose a friend that lives closest to you. After spending your years in college and high school, chances are that friends tend to move away. Many of your friends may have relocated to other sides of your country even further away from you. Choosing someone that’s closest to you is also another way to communicate about your upcoming wedding and the detailed plans. Being near your best man is also another support system for you, helping with advice on decisions and different opinions on anything that’s on your mind.
Which Friend Actually Knows Your Future Spouse?
You never know when you’ll meet that special woman in your life, but one thing you will remember is introducing her to your closest friends and finding out what they may think of her. In some cases, you won’t be able to introduce your new love for months or years, depending on how far you may live from some of your close friends.
Choosing a friend that knows about your relationship with your intended spouse will not only ease your wedding plans and preparation, but it also makes the entire celebration much sweeter.
During the big toast, the best man will be the qualified person to speak about your relationship, and this will look and feel genuine. To sum it up, if you are lucky enough to have a friend that has a great relationship with your wife to be and can help with some of the trials and tribulations you may be going through, it may be a deciding factor in your choice.
What If You Find It Difficult to decide Between Two Friends?
Sometimes, you just have too many close friends, and you have a tough time making the decision between a few of them. There’s no rule set in stone whereby forbidding more than one best man, but that would be unusual in today’s world. Maybe you could terminate the entire best man idea and have all the groomsmen as equal – This, however, will likely not play out well with your better half and her maid of honour/bridesmaids that she has chosen. Brides tend to like tradition and the way they're always is the best man, best woman, bridesmaids and groomsmen. It is worth a conversation with your fiancé to see if there is a different option available so good luck on convincing this option!
If you really need to choose one best man, you need to be practical about it and choose the one that has the most time to commit to your wedding. Which of them would always be available to help plan the bachelor’s party? Which of them would create time to help with the wedding tasks?
If perhaps one of your friends has been blessed with a new baby or received a big promotion at work, it may not be the best time to attach another huge responsibility for him. Whomever you later choose for the task, try to keep the other friend abreast of the reason behind your decision. Let your best from the rest of the groomsmen know that you still want his participation planning certain aspects of the wedding.
Now, let’s look at other tips to help you choose your best man:
Pick Someone Who’s Capable of the Task
One of the typical duties of the best man is to assist the groom with wedding preparations that either he has no time to do or just doesn’t feel like handling it. The best man is there to help the groom out and smooth out any bumps in the road. As the head of the groomsmen, the best man should coordinate the activities of the other groomsmen. From fitting their tuxes right to understanding the importance of wedding etiquette, the best man should enlighten the groomsmen on their roles in the entire wedding ceremony.
As the wedding wingman, the best man is someone that helps with everything that has to do with the wedding plans. So, you should find someone that’s well organized, calm, and task-oriented. Maybe you should go with your best friend that works in accounting instead of the other who’s only organization skills come into play when setting up drinks with friends at happy hour. It all depends on what you think is important and what will make you and your partner happy on that special day.
Choose Someone Who’s Sociable
Obviously, you wouldn’t want a hall monitor, neither will you want an office manager. The best man is saddled with tasks that require agile touch with vendors, guests, in-laws, and other event professionals. You should carefully choose someone who finds it easy to relate with other people in the best of manners. Choose someone who’s confident enough that their glad handling will seem natural and unforced.
Pick Someone Who’s Discreet
When it comes to wedding plans, one thing that excites people the most is the Best Man Toast. This is usually an activity that doesn’t require the direct influence of the groom unless you’ve had enough time to vet the speech before that day, which is, frankly, a little weird.
However, you can eliminate someone from the task of the best man if you feel they’ll say something embarrassing or tasteless. If you truly foresee that the speech will seem like a dumpster fire, then consider someone else for the task.
There you have it! Perhaps we’ve revealed the factors and tips to consider whenever you are about to choose your best man. Remember, the person you pick as your best man should be that person that can get the job done in the best possible manner. So, take a moment to reflect and figure out that person that’s capable and fit into that position.
At the end of the day, it’s completely your choice as to who will be your best man. This is your wedding and your special day, with the help of some advice from your partner or parents, you will make the right decision and move forward with your wedding plans. Remember, there is much more left to plan than just choosing your best man!
